Monday, June 10, 2013

Mothers Day, Nurses Appreciation, Father's Day.....and Violence

It's that time of year when we celebrate our parents and other nurturers - like nurses.  When I think about what we're actually celebrating, I think we're celebrating the love and care that people give to each other.  And one not need to give birth or go to nursing school to be included.  We all have the ability to nurture each other.  We can pat people at work on the shoulder for doing a good job, thank the person at the grocery store for help or checking us out, hold the door open for others.  Easier still, offer a smile to anyone and everyone  whose path you cross.  And if you can recall being in a position when you were hurt or vulnerable,  than you can probably recall how comforting and powerful another's gesture or words can be.

I don't think that we can ever underestimate the power of kindness; it's really just an active expression of love.  Sometimes we stop ourselves from smiling at strangers, thinking we can't smile at people we don't know.  That idea always prompts me to question why we have to know someone in order to practice kindness.  What would happen if we allowed ourselves to express love and kindness to everyone (whether or not we know them).

Which brings me to the last part of this article: Violence.  It seems we can't turn on the television without another news story about someone who went on some sort of rampage and killing and injuring some number of people.  Huge acts of violence against others.  Not too long ago, a young woman committed suicide in our community.  While it didn't make the news, it is still a huge act of violence - against self.  It seems as a culture we are struggling with what to do.  Should we make stricter gun laws?  Should we have tougher punishments for those who harm others?  Should we all arm ourselves?  Should we continue to ignore our suicide problem, and continue to blame those who make this fatal decision?

I think the most effective course of action lies in our world community, and of course it begins at home.  One of Ghandi's most popular quotes is, "You must be the change in the world, you wish to see."  I can't help but wonder if, as a community, we were kinder and loving to the perpetrators, than perhaps these acts of violence would diminish.  I think it was Jack Kornfield who wrote about his work in Africa.  He discovered one community who would gather around a member who was deviant, and surround him with love and affection, and remind the deviant person that they are an important part of the community.  They would not stop, until the offender recognized the error of his ways and "came back" to the community.

We may think that our individual acts of kindness don't matter or aren't enough to "count".  In truth, the love we show others, is the only thing that really does matter.